WWT II - Joe's Flightlog and Humor Satire
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WWT II - Joe's Flightlog and Humor Satire Expand / Collapse
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Posted Monday, July 04, 2011 11:32:48 AM


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7-4-2011 (Flight #10)

Flight Plan:  Prague, Czech Republic (LKPR) to Warsaw, Poland (EPWA) 281 miles

11:50am.  Emergency Flight.  It seems our boy, Tom Cruise had an incident on the set filming Mission Impossible #27.  According to sources, the "fake" self rocket propelled launcher where in fact Russian true live rocket launchers.  Shooting an action scene, Tomboy shot up half of Prague in what was called a truly awesome display of "one man" fire power.  Realizing the predicament he was in, President Obozo of the USA was flying back from who knows what, and made an emergency landing in Prague to pick up hollywoods couple.  Prez Obozo made some sort of 1/2 azz apologies to the Czech's and assured them they could come to the states and blow up a bridge as part of Die Hard #47 with Bruce Willis.  The Czech govt thought it was way to necessary for that, but accepted the offering.  A national scene of disgrace has been avoided....thanks Tom you nimrod!


Heavily guarded AF-1 waiting the arrival of Tom and Kate, as Prez Obozo signs a Die Hard #47 offer sheet to the Czech's


Screaming off the Czech Republic in good ol Air Force 1.  Where's Harrison Ford when you need him?


Dead Nutted the Landing....how can I screw this up?  Not this time boys...check out the score below!


Hey look!  A whole LOT of planes around the Prez....

Landing Score: 148.65  Flight Score: 165.01  (Huge Numbers!)



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8923
Posted Monday, July 04, 2011 12:57:27 PM


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Holy crap Joe. Congratulations on the fantastic score...

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

Post #8924
Posted Tuesday, July 05, 2011 4:05:55 PM


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7-5-2011 (Flight #11)

Flight Plan:  Warsaw, Poland (EPWA) to Bratsislava, Slovakia (LZIB) 280 miles.

4:10pm Flight.  Well after an eventful situation with Tom avoided, we fired up the Corporate Executive CRJ-700 for a hopeful nice uneventful flight.  And that it was uneventful.  What really makes me made with my flying is the fact I can have it all trimmed out beautifully, and about 2 miles out, winds blow me up and down, all arounds...and basically ruin a great flight.  This is B.S. FSX.  Maybe look at some kind of real weather program sometime.  Anyhoo....landed off course, landed nose down, and prolly hosed up a good landing gear. Repairs are needed at Hanger 47. 


Whole freakin' approach perfect...last 500 feet....apparently I don't know how to fly?


Arriving at gate with a pair of SkyEurope 737's in the background.  Mechanics to Gate 3 please...

Landing Score: 54.85  Flight Score: 128.30 

Darn....



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8929
Posted Wednesday, July 06, 2011 1:02:37 AM


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Argh Joe.... Too bad. (he he he)

I recommend REX II for a better weathermachine, AND gorgeous clouds, water, runway, sun... etc. effects. AND its on 4. July sale HERE (25 Aus $ - if you hurry


Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

Post #8930
Posted Wednesday, July 06, 2011 7:05:39 PM


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7-5-2011 (Flight #12)

Flight Plan:  Bratsislava, Slovakia (LZIB) to Budapest, Hungary 93.5 miles.

Evening flight, smooth skies back in my trusty little Kodiak...and as usual....apparently I need to truly master the landing speeds of this plane....sigh.  Too Fast yet again!


Waiting passengers.


Looking back at city


Flying along side a river....no dead bodies floating...that's good.


On final coming in over the city of Budapest. 

Landing Score: 57.10  Flight Score: 105.94  Sigh!  Impossible to get it this slow on approach....Come on Smitty....cut me some slack.



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8937
Posted Wednesday, July 06, 2011 7:14:49 PM


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7-6-2011 (Flight #13)

Flight Plan:  Budapest, Hungary to Bucharest, Romania  333.0 miles

Afternoon flight: 4:30pm.  Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the Romanian National Gymnastic team with guest coach Nadia Comenichi decided to charter the Virgin Airline 747.  How appropriate!  Competing in an international competition, the national coach wanted to party 747 style.  Who better to pilot a bunch of power puff tarts than a 45 year old washed up pilot.  Easy girls....

Well during the flight, my computer was acting squirrely, and I lost all my Saitek controllers...no more trimmng, no more flaps....no landing gear...took me forever to get it out of autopilot, and thank god for the keyboard....damaged my flaps during 30 degrees so they was stuck....uggghhh!


I hear on Wizz airlines, you can just take a "wizz" wherever you want on the plane?  Talk about a stench aroma....


Malev airlines....cool tail paint job...back off small pup...I've got the right away....


Wow...now this is perfectly lined up...


Not bad...just slightly off...at the numbers....huge score coming I can feel it!


Taxiing to terminal....

Landing Score: 137.44  Flight Score: 160.26  (Tapping finger on desk....WTH.....Damaged my flaps)



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8938
Posted Saturday, July 09, 2011 10:42:54 AM


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7-8-2011 (Flight #14)

Flight Plan:  Bucharest, Romania to Chisinau, Moldova  190.0 miles

Afternoon flight: 4:50pm

When the word gets out that JoeMini Tours LLC is doing an around the world flight, the sponsors just keep begging to have there jets flown.  Next up - Austrian Airways.  A beautiful new shiny 737 winglet jet ready for service.  Short hop to the capital city of Moldova - Chisinau.  Another boring uneventful flight other than yours truly messing up the glideslope resulting in a poor landing score, and apparently flying to low over what?  A Tree?  A bush?  Come on Smitty....


Nice plane....flies smooth!


Off to the left a bit....bringin' her around....a little high at the moment.


Upon flight review....just slightly off centerline, but the flight reviewer has no compassion.

Landing Score: 109.85  Flight Score: 136.30  Rock steady on the flight scores.....improving on landings.



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8941
Posted Saturday, July 09, 2011 12:31:44 PM


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7-9-2011 (Flight #15)

Flight Plan:  Chisinau, Moldova  to Kiev, Ukraine 219.0 miles

Afternoon flight: 12:30pm

Remember when the best job in the world would be to be a Pan-Am pilot, with a bunch of hot babes for stewardess hangin' all over ya?  Well, those old days are upon me today.  Pan-Am is the latest of the corporate sponsors to come thru with the big daddy of them all....The Clipper!  Routine flight as I thought, however about 25 miles out, damn near put the plane 50 feet under, after inducing a STALL, but with the trusty Pan-Am manuals, I was able to recover and bring her in for a nice landing score.  Not to often I have a landing score much higher than a flight score....


We have the entire city of Chisinau on board....pusher back please...Let's get going.


Coming soon to a theater near you....climb baby....using up all the runway.


Shit mo fo....where's the procedures on how to get out of a stall....full power and lower the nose....


Following in a Ukraine International 737.....

Landing Score: 141.09  Flight Score: 133.05  Damn....almost bit the farm with a stall....great flying skills Joey!



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8942
Posted Saturday, July 09, 2011 2:45:55 PM


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7-9-2011 (Flight #16)

Flight Plan:  Kiev, Ukraine to Minsk, Belarus 237.0 miles

Afternoon flight: 2:00 flight

 Well, decided that ho-hum flights are becoming the norm, so why not spice it up with an all out thunderstorm.  Lufthansa anted up to the plate with a CRJ-700 regional jet.  Bumpy ride for the passengers, and I can't help the bumpiness Smitty...so cut me some slack. Can't see shit until the last minute...but I landed her fine and I think Smitty is on crack? 


Doors open people....it's raining...get your azzes in the plane pronto!


Let's get out of the lightening bolts....


Huge clouds can only mean more thunderstorms in Minsk....


Lining up nicely....


Can't centerline it any better.....

Landing Score: 122.00  Flight Score: 122.92  Splendid Landing!  I should say so....so where's the love?



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8943
Posted Saturday, July 09, 2011 5:50:23 PM


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7-9-2011 (Flight #17)

Flight Plan:  Minsk, Belarus to Vilnius, Lithuania 106.0 miles

Late Afternoon flight: 

Damn, I hate the FSX weather....It said clear skies, but about 25 miles out, it decides to go to utter no-can see weather....holy crap....that was tricky bringin the learjet down, but I did it and managed a triple digit landing....


Good God Miss Molly.....what the hell....supposed to be sunny skies?  This is not sunny skies?


The gauges are saying there's a runway ahead...there better be....i'm at 1000 feet and I can't see jack!


Well finally I can see the freakin' runway....little off...but not bad.

Landing Score: 100.39  Flight Score: 109.90   All considering....humm...I'll take it.



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8944
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