WWT II - Joe's Flightlog and Humor Satire
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WWT II - Joe's Flightlog and Humor Satire Expand / Collapse
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Posted Saturday, July 16, 2011 1:43:00 PM


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7-16-2011 (Flight #18)

Flight Plan:  Vilnius, Lithuania to Riga, Latavia (144.0 miles)

Afternoon flight: 

Back from vacation for those keeping track of the world's greatest pilot.  Not surprisingly we could not find a replacement pilot to continue the WWT 2, so I'm back int the saddle again.  Frontier Airlines came to the forefront after my vacation.  They got wind of me, and anted up a CRJ-700 plane to help the cause out.  Thanks!


New Frontiers....New Cougar on the tail...Sweet!


Lining up nicely in Riga....


Got the runway in sight....little high at the moment...battling not having my Saitek panel at the moment...SHIT!

Landing Score: 127.44   Flight Score: 118.55  Considering I lost all my panels i'll take it...



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8954
Posted Saturday, July 16, 2011 4:58:54 PM


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7-16-2011 (Flight #19)

Flight Plan:  Riga, Latavia to Talinn, Estonia (152.0 miles)

Late afternoon flight: 

We heard that in Estonia, you are "stoned" most of the time.  A bunch of stoners rented a plane to fly up and see what it was all about. The airliner of choice was the Austrian 737.  Pilot is starting to get a little woozy with all the smells coming from the cabin.  Attention....Attention....there is no smoking on this flight.  And to make matters worse, real weather is showing a major thunderstorm.  Couldn't ever get a lightening bolt, but some good pics on the way....feeling mighty woozy...


Leaving the Riga area....heading north to Estonia...


Off to my left is the Baltic Sea...


Somewhere down off to the yonder is an airport, or is that pot smoke?


Little off...but battling a crosswind...

Landing Score: 160.59  Flight Score: 136.04  Splendid Landing and Love that landing score!  About time Smitty!



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8956
Posted Sunday, July 17, 2011 12:27:57 PM


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7-17-2011 (Flight #20)

Flight Plan:  Talinn, Estonia to Moscow, Russia (486 miles)

I am pissed at Mr. Smith!  Period.  You are a putz.  I do not want to speak to you for awhile.  Just sit over in that other co-pilot seat and shut the ____ up.  Something was wrong when you are saying line up with runway and I'm dead on...and sheez I'm not that far off the centerline, and to give me a pathetic landing score after battling another thunderstorm.  Just shut the blank up and stay away from a very irate pilot.


Cool shot overlooking the city of Talinn, and our plane loaded up with a bunch of Russians.


Flying over downtown Moscow and the projects....where's Jason Bourne when you need him?


Lining up nicely and Smitty is barking "you're not lined up with the runway"  WTH?


Yes I'm off....but gosh dang it!  Man I'm pissed....


Russian humor...let's paint our jets flourescent yellow colors...humm?

Landing Score: 35.14 (#$!$#@$#) Flight Score: 171.55

The good thing is I almost set the record held by yours truly....only .3 percentage points off.  Nice landing score Mr Smith to go along with it!



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8957
Posted Sunday, July 17, 2011 2:48:03 PM


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7-17-2011 (Flight #21)

Flight Plan:  Moscow, Russia to St. Petersburg, Russia (361 miles)

Still fuming from last flight, but we are still speaking sort of.  Going back to trusty 737 and regain some glory....However, the weather is not cooperating, and huge thunderstorms in area, making it impossible to see.  Struggling to find runway.  This is not good.


Parked next to huge 777....wonder if anybody will let me borrow one of those?


Cool little Russian private jet...i want one!


Old 727 russian style.....lots of heavy metal....


Flying thru storms....bumpy


Airport is that way....


Alright....what's it gonna be Smitty?

Landing Score: 102.95  Flight Score: 146.52   Smitty says I lost the glideslope....I guess he might be right...



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8958
Posted Friday, July 22, 2011 4:22:20 PM


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7-19-2011 (Flight #22)

Flight Plan:  St. Petersburg, Russia to Helsinki, Finland (162 miles)

Maybe it's me, but Smitty must hate me.  I've thoroughly convinced he's over there with a barrel of dice with his grading system.  Nothing makes sense to me anymore so there's just no sense anymore of wondering if he was sleeping on my landings....sigh.


Russian boarder and all we have is Lufthasa planes....


Closing in on the Finland coast....landing shortly....


Not bad...off just slightly...


Lot's of Finair planes lined up loading passengers....

Landing Score: 126.64  Flight Score:125.42  I don't know what more I can do?  Sigh!



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8968
Posted Friday, July 22, 2011 4:36:12 PM


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7-19-2011 (Flight #23)

Flight Plan:  Helsinki, Finland to Stockholm, Sweden (216 miles)

I've completely tuned out Smitty....we are not speaking any more....period.  New Sponsor has been added for our growing list of supporters of JoeMini Tours, LLC.  Pleased to introduce Air Scotland to the force.  President of Air Scotland, recently commented and I quote, "The JoeMini Tours, LLC is an excellent way for us to get some free publicity, and we are counting on Joe Mini to not crash and cause us great embarrassment.  He's proven so far he seems capable of all airplanes, and for that we trust him..."


Check this out....while taxiing out, it's a pack of killer Learjets....back back....


Closing in on the South end of Sweden, making my way down to Stockholm.


Check that ball dome below me...it's the golf ball hall of fame?


Center striped it!  I give up!

Landing Score: 118.85  Flight Score: 145.77   (Just sit over there and give me what ever you feel like Smitty....)

JoeMini piloting Boeing 737-800 airscotland ended Tuesday, July 19, 2011 at 21:20
FSFlyingSchool 2011 (1st July 2011)
Using: FSX
Visibility: 62.14 Miles     Wind: 0 Knots

Aircraft: BOEING ID: Airline: Flight: 311
Flight plan: EFHK TO ESSA Stockholm:Arlanda NAV1: TSA
Failure(s): None at landing
Failure Event(s) (Zulu Time): None
Failure Bonus:0% Flight Duration:00 Hours 52 Mins 05 Secs

Landing Score:118.85

Landing was successful in the following areas:
  • Good glideslope on ILS approach. [80%]
  • Good alignment with runway on ILS approach. [100%]
  • Gentle touchdown. [476 FPM]
  • Good landing speed - not too fast. [113 KIAS]
  • Wings were level.
  • Landed on runway surface.
  • Glideslope held until flare.
  • Good pitch control after touchdown.
  • Good pitch at landing.
  • With flaps - good job.
  • With spoilers armed.
  • Heading aligned with runway.
  • Throttle(s) idle.
  • Good controlled final descent to touchdown.
  • Good steering after landing.

A splendid landing!


Flight Score:145.77

Flight commended in the following areas:
  • Smooth turns.
  • Nice banking.
  • Correct matching of flaps to speeds.
  • Gear deployment at safe speed.
  • Comfortable G forces.
  • Smooth pitch control.
  • Flown within aircraft's maximum speed limit.
  • Gentle taxi turns.
  • Good take off steering.
  • Rotation was not late.
  • Appropriate position of flaps during taxi.
  • Safe taxi speed.
  • Smooth braking during taxi.
  • Smooth climb during takeoff.
  • Wings level near ground.
  • Well coordinated turns.
  • No stalls.
  • No flying dangerously close to stall speed.
  • Smooth comfortable descent rate.
  • Pitch not too high.
  • Pitch not too low.
  • Flaps down on time.
  • Approach speed not too fast.
  • Low altitude speeds not too fast.
  • Good clearance of obstacles.

A smooth flight!


Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8969
Posted Sunday, July 24, 2011 11:09:24 AM


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7-24-2011 (Flight #24)

Flight Plan:  Stockholm, Sweden to Oslo, Norway (209 miles)

Still not speaking to Smitty, but this flight is not about me or Smitty.  President Obama's regular flight crew had a massive case of stomach flu, so he opted to send the kid in to fly a special, yet somber mission to Norway, to honor those who have died by a stupid individual.  What in the hell is this world coming too?  Sickening....


Fueling up....ready Mr. President


Screaming taking off, and a A340 Star Allaince plane taxing out for take off


Soaring away....


Line up....I can never see the airport til it is right on me....

Landing Score: 59.00  Flight Score: 163.60   Really Smitty....poor ILS and I beg to differ with the engine at idle....sheez



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8970
Posted Sunday, July 24, 2011 4:43:54 PM


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7-24-2011 (Flight #25)

Flight Plan:  Oslo, Norway to Copenhagen, Denmark (280 miles)

Been waiting a long time for this....Can't wait to see my long time flight sim buddy Ole!  So giddy!  Promising to show me the sites and sounds of Denmark upon my arrival.  Flight seem uneventful as normal, but as usual with FSX weather....rain magically shows up on approach...can't see jack, but I seem to have the plane setup properly trimmed for landing....As I pull up to the gate, is that Ole waiting for me at the gate?  No, it's just some other guy with a note.  "Dear Joe, I'm so sorry I couldn't be here.  I know you've flown huge miles to see me, but my smoking hot wife and I are off to Italy for a summer getaway, and she takes priority of your sorry azz....again, please find my regards truthful..."  WTH?  Sigh...even my best buddy ditched me.  This will be tough to swallow, but I have to move on.


Busy Oslo airport loading up passengers....


Interesting taxiing out to runway, but wait....maintence has just called and said they forgot to check the flaps...


Cool shot of a Norwegian Air shuttle 737 on final landing....cool


Nice shot of Oslo International.....


Not far now....I'll be there shortly Ole....


Like I said earlier...oh wait...let's put rain clouds in the area....#!$@#$@#$



Is that you Ole?  Doesn't look like you in the photo you sent me? 

Landing Score: 152.84  Flight Score: 139.73  Holy Shit Batman!  Can't figure out this grading system but I'll take it...



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Post #8971
Posted Friday, August 05, 2011 2:31:49 PM


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7-31-2011 (Flight #26)

Flight Plan:  Copenhagen, Denmark to Amsterdam, Netherlands (342 miles)

I waited around a week.  Spent 2 days trying to find a cab that would take me to where my best online friend lives.  Arrived at his house, tired, worn out, only to find a "Dear Joe" letter attached to his front door.  Sad, and a little teary eyed, I took the note and began to read. "Dear Joe, I can't believe you flew all this way to see me.  What the hell was you thinking?  I already made plans to go on a summer holiday, and I just couldn't convince the wifey to stay.  I'm sorry and hope our paths will cross again....Your Friend Ole."

Wow....saddened, I returned to the cab, and said start the meter again....Good God what a cab fare as Ole lives nowhere close to the airport. Completely wiped out of money, I spent the next several days at Kastrup airport working as a shoeshine boy, a bartender, and a luggage handler just to make enough money to move on to Amsterdam. 

Lot's of Pic's this time...

  
Heart broken, I leave Kastrup with a bit of a sad heart?  Will Ole come chase after me in baggage truck or something?

 
Pretty cool shot of a busy airport, and some wind generators in the background.

 
Hope I make it over some buildings....

 
Sports complex I think? 

 
Dang it...off a bit? But a 52.14?

Landing Score: 52.14   Flight Score: 150.25  Really?  Really?



Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

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