Case 10007 VFAA versus Joseph, Flying under the influence and in insane condition. The honourable Judge Dredd, aka JoeMini presiding.

JoeMini (Dredd) enters the court. Belches and brakes wind while approaching his bench. He scratches his buttocks and thereby reveals that he is in fact naked under his judge coat - something the community has been talking about for years now. Dredd looks distant and seems to miss something. Finally his eyes focus on something on the floor, and he get to his knees to pick up  - his hammer. Up again he looks at the people in the court and hammers loudly while shouting "Silence - Silence in the courtroom" As the courtroom was utterly silent before his remark, people looks at each other, uncertain, then shruggs and say nothing.

Finally the Jugde JoeMini - Dredd speaks!

Dredd “Does the defendant have anything to say?”

Joseph “Your Honour, I am represented by Biggles legal team. (BLT) They will speak on my behalf”

Dredd ”Are those the ones that suggested you plead insane?”

Joseph ”erm…yes”

Dredd “As long as you bear that in mind!  So Biggles;You can start your opening speech.

BLT “Your honour. We believe that this whole case is based upon a misunderstanding. We will prove beyond doubt that neither Alcohol nor insanity was present during Joesephs flight, on the date in question.

VFAA, represented by Ole Andreasen, “Objection your Honour. This whole case is based on Josephs confession on the web, and the legal teams claim that he was insane at the time of flight.

Dredd “As far as I have been informed, the defendant have, himself written the statements on the forum of FSFlyingschool. Now I am very interested in how you will rule that out. Objection overruled. Please proceed.

BLT “Thanks your honour. Now. On the day in question, Joseph was to fly. Earlier that day he had read about a planecrash over the pacific ocean, where it was evident that the pilot was drunk. Thinking about this while landing, made Joseph less than 100% concentrated and thus making a low score. This made him pissed off, and in his frustration he described this as being pissed. Its only natural that the other members of the Caribbean 100 tour thought Joseph meant that he had been drinking. Especially because Joseph stated that you should not drink and fly, again because of the incident he had read about.

I myself was unsure about what Joseph meant when first approached by him, and I must admit that I thought he was a little….. not-himself, and so I thought he was in the same state when doing his post – NOT his flight, but his post.

Dredd “So you are saying that he was sober and sane when doing his flight?”

VFAA “Objection your Honour.

Dredd “on what grounds Mr. Andreasen?”

VFAA “On the grounds that there is absolutely no evidence of this he-didn’t-do-it thing your Honour!”

Dredd “ So far as I can see, there is no proof whatsoever of Joseph being either drunk or insane, on the day of flying – or now for that matter. Only problem I can see, is the fact that the VFAA seems to be wasting my time completely and utterly. I shall think of what to do about that.

Now as for the present case.. Mr. Joseph, I have a few words for you. It is very unwise to write statements as you did, that put together Alcohol and flying. Your legal team were off to a bad start too, stating that you flew under mental instability. I have seen no proof of either, and your legal team redeemed themselves with their opening statement, which I found sane, sober and logical.

Judge Dredd rules in favour of the defendant. Case dismissed.

VFAA "Oh bloody hell!"

BLT "Yeeeeees!

Loud cheers is heard in the courthouse. Joseph is seen wiping a tear from his eye, and folding hands in a silent prayer. Biggles and his associates slap hands and straighten their suits. On the VFAA side, Ole Andreasen is heard loudly saying "Fu.. This would never have taken place if I hadnt been in the lead of this competition. A clear case of malpractise from the Judge.

Dredd "Mr. Andreasen I heard that. I hold you in contempt. Being mocked in my own courtroom is NOT something Im prepared to tolerate. I sentence you to two whole days of no-flying, and to offer Champagne to the other competitors in your contest. Furthermore your next flight must be done flying at least twice the length of the route itself. Finally I sentence you to stop crossdressing in the plane. (Loud sighs of relief is heard from Mr.Smith who sits on row one listening to the case)

Outside courthouse: Ole Andreasen stands with his head hanging, looking like someone slapped hard in the face. Harald Tribunes Donald Trish approaches.

Donald Trish "Mr. Andreasen - that was quite a blow you took in there, how do you feel now?"

- Ole jerks his head up and takes a swing at the journalist. Unfortunately he misses and stumble and falls down the stairs hitting his head, hard enough to draw blood. The last we hear is Ole cursing and yelling while rolling down the last stairs!

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

joseph just cant beleive his luck. so much so he finds it hard to stand on his feet, his legs shaking to be fair doesnt seem to know were he is. The only words he seemes to say is ils, please be ils. After what seemes like a life time he makes his way to the front of the court house to greet news paper reporters.

i would first of all like to thank biggles legal team for all there surport of which without i wouldnt have been able to get throught these last few weeks without. This as been a very traumatic time and has caused me and my family so much stress.

once again the vfaa have proved to be way off the mark ( 500ft) with there faulse aligations and have hit the ground with a big fat zero.

I feel so confident about myself and so much so i would like to announce to the world that i will be putting my name forward for the red bull air race 2009.

and now it seemes that i can keep my pilot licence , now were did i last put it.

joseph.

ole brilliant never laughed so much for ages

Wolf: "Ole...Ole...Wolf Blitzer CNN....can I have a word with you...."

Ole: "I'm a little dejected right now...I really don't want to...."

Wolf: "Great thanks for taking some time.  Well 1st of all....you have to be crushed by Judge Smells...errr...Judge Dredd..."

Ole: "I feel like I'm the guilty one now.  The VFAA had a clear cut case that was basically made a mockery."

Wolf: "Many feel outside the courtroom you should have had more professional legal help, and you took on a case that you couldn't handle."

Ole: "Oh bugger off Wolf....the man on trial was definitely in violation, and clearly the Judge Farts-a-lot was influenced by something...."

Wolf: "Are you going on the record as saying the Judge was bribed on World wide tv?"

Ole: "Damn straight...errr...at this point, I cannot say any more without my own legal representation.  This case was a pure bullrap!"

Wolf: "Sounds like you can't handle the truth?"

Ole: "Damn it Wolf, stuff it or I'll do it for you...."

Wolf: "Did you get that on tape?"

Ole shoves the camera man.  Flips off Wolf...and storms off to his 1984 Yugo.  Cursing his car for not starting, he has to get out and beg for a jump start.  How embarassing.

Joe Mini

President/CEO/Chief Pilot for Joe Mini World Wide Tours, LLC. 
"If we get you to your destination in one piece, it's a miracle"  

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

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"The Judge was utterly incompetent" the spokesman from VFAA, Ole Andreasen said earlier this morning to Sandra Buttocks, on VCNN. "We believe that he might be bribed by the opposition" Ole continues.

In fact, Judge Dredd was on VCNN earlier this morning in an exclusive interview by our own Blurry King. Here is some of that inverview.

Blurry King (BK) "Mr. Mini  - you seemed to shut yesterdays case aginst Joseph very quickly. A lot of people seem to think that justice was not done rightly here. Do you have any comments on the issue?"

JoeMini (Dredd) "Well Blurry, truth of the matter is that the day before the trail, I threw a party and served shrimp salads. It seems that a lot of the guests suffered from  - hm.. week stomacs afterwards, myself included. I was not aware of that however, before entering the court yesterday. When breaking a little wind.. well a little more exited. I therefore had to take the first point, that sounded good, and rule on that. And this I did.

BK "So you are telling me that you ruled on a personal problem, and not in justise?"

Dredd "Justice! (mocking) what is justice? Justice is what the judge rules - period! You may be King in here Blurry, but in my courtroom - I´m God!

BK "But what is your personal opinion on the case?"

Dredd "I believe that Joseph was indeed drunk, and should have had his license revoked - but dont quote me on that"

BK "Youre on national tv mr. Mini, no quotes needed. Thank you for coming. Im Blurry King and you watched VCNN"

So Mr. Andreasen. What is your comment on that? Ole was asked, and he he slapped his forehead, and uttered a cry as the wound on his head began to bleed again. "I knew it" he said. "This causes for a retrail. We at the VFAA will appeal the court desicion at once, and furthermore, we will look into making a legal trail aginst the Judge himself, for misconducting his office.

So the case is far from over. More on the issue as the case develops! Sandra Buttocks VCNN

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

                 it semes like after all this, after all this the vfaa and that man mr   oleandreasen (copy that) will just not accept the not guilty verdict that the right honerable mr mini ( the dread man) has passed. And why? it seemes like he as a bowel problem, and well  so what if he as, this as never been proved in anycase, and also   this would never affect the verdict of not guilty. This morning as usual while eating my breakfast i happen switch the tv on and being a responsible pilot i switched on vcnn. And there he was mr oleandreasen (copy that) the face of a bitter and twisted man and poor old mr mini ( the dread man) being interagated. Is it any wonder .It was clear to me  judge dread would say anything to releive himself. i have herd of this kind of thing before but never beleived it, but now i know , shere torture indeed this kind of interagation should be for one place, and one place  alone a court room is the only place, and if it as to be it as to be for the second time,  then so be it. I thought one day without my daily tipple was enough,but no the man seemes to want blood. This is a testing time for me but i shall prevaile.

JOSEPH

Appeal court in session. Judge Bintherebefore Seenitall presiding.

Judge BS "Well well now. I have read up on the previous trail. Seems like the judge on that one, was on something illigal. I have made up my mind. No one is going to speak here except me. My verdict is clear and ready.

Biggles legal team "Your honour - we must object! this is proposterous. How can we even try to win the case if we canno-

Judge BS "SILENCE! I already told you. NOONE is going to speak. Objection Overruled! Now to the verdict. Joseph. You have been found guilty of flying after consuming a liquid that MIGHT have contained alcohol, something that is illigal in several states in the USA. I therefore sentence you to the following.

You are to fly at least three flights every day, from tommorow, and until you catch up with the other competitors. I also sentence the other competitiors to wait for you at least five days from today.

Biggles legal team "Thank you your honour. We accept the verdict"

VFAA Ole Andreasen "Thank you your honour. a fine ruling."

Judge BS "ok - now beat it, I have a lunchappointment to attend.  Court ajourned!"

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

Regards
Ole Andreasen, Denmark

I've just been advised by my legal team that you turned down my offer of a free holiday in the Seychelles ruled against our fellow aviator. Does that mean that you will also be returning the Mercedes slk that mysteriously was delivered to you the day before you sat in judgement?

Anyway, I have set my alarm for 0001 hours on Wednesday.

Now lets get down to some flight planning, or possibly I'll try out these new fangled things called ils's, if I can find a flying machine with the instrumentation.

"Henri ---My glass is empty, get us a refill please?"  Henri returns with yet another glass of Guinness.  "Theres a good girl"

She may be a pill sometimes, but her heart is in the right place

Now where are my maps?

Biggles

After consulting with my legal team i have decided to accept the courts judment and i will do my upmost to comply with the verdict. To be honest i was getting a bit pissed off with it. o fu-- not again.

The end.

Pilot Joseph